I’m back!! I’m a Skinny Girl once again!! I’ve been lost for a long time, trying to do this on my own terms. Guess what? It didn’t work!
I started Online Living With Skinny today. I feel anxious, but it’s a good anxiety, a sense of urgency to stay with it. I’ve been off track for a long time (two years, give or take). I’ve been eating on-plan, for the most part, but I’ve also been eating off plan in between. Tiffany helped me come to a revelation today, after our first phone call, and my mind is racing with an understanding of why I’m in this predicament: I didn’t forget how to be on plan, I just got into a different habit. I trained myself to be “on plan but not always,” to be “on plan but cheating.” I’ve got to remember what it means to just be “ON PLAN.” No discussion, no bargaining, no negotiating. Just be Skinny. I am Skinny.
But I’m also impatient. Another thing that got me here was an “immediate gratification” mentality. I want what I want when I want it — which, up until today, was garbage food, right now. Not always, not all day — but every day, in some way. Today, I’m feeling a different kind if impatience — I want what I HAD, and I want it NOW. I reached rock-bottom again — I haven’t been here in 6 years. I don’t like it here; I want to get out. So, Tiffany reminded me that, starting today, starting right now, I AM as SKINNY GIRL. I think like a Skinny Girl, I eat like a Skinny Girl — so, really, I do have back what I had! The clothes don’t fit the same (yet), and I don’t have the energy and confidence and contentment I had (yet), but I’m a Skinny Girl once again, and that’s the best place to start.
The end result will come in time, as a delicious by product of living the Skinny Girl life. I am a skinny girl today. And I will get to that place where the clothes fit and the confidence comes by being a skinny girl every day. I know it will get easier and better with every day I am a Skinny Girl. I’m excited and giddy and ready to put in the work to change these bad habits back to good.
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